Silence wins....
Silence kills....
Dead.... or alive...
who cares...
Don't expect...
They are here just to be here....

Why do people have role models? it kills diversity. It systematically propogates silent genocide.

Warmness on the sofa has yet not faded..........lady in the picture
frame was smiling.......

The glasses which just few mintues back were embracing warm lips were
starring at each other in silence...

A hand was searching for lighter.......

She was tired and new to the city, to the darkness.

....its entwined and words dont deal with that..precondition for thoughts

Looking back on the canvass of thought and so called memory, some in still not dried colors...trying to transgress the boundry forced uponthem to give meaningless meanings. i tried to touch them and returned with impression on my boundry.......i was colored with ..........

more efficeint design,
who will be pregnant??
yeah.
Not sure!!!
any one.
more efficient design.

today i saw a blog by some girl from taxas. i don't know but from last few month i am unknowingly reaching at her blog (biased random walk).
why girls are so fundamentaly different from boys????? they must have found same stimuli......i wonder...i wonder .. i don't think so.
they never aspired to become what they are today.......

few days before i was thinking when I was no more child. tastes changed...i remember i never liked those boiled vegitables which my chacha ji used to say healthy thing about.
i don't know when it happped. it was certainly not a continuous process.....but i don't know when i started to like those things which i never dreamed of liking. change is life... but i never wanted these changes i never wanted to grow up......life has changed....i don't know whether its changed life of its a new thing which is not life ........

two lines from ghalib

Jeete rahe tere vade ko maan jhoot janaKi
Khusi se mar na jate gar aitabar hota

'sensex crosses 9000'
'how does this affect to me??'
'it does not. but there are many things which affect me indirectly'
'there are many thing like this'
'it does not put merit on the things which we talk about or which we do not……
If we look on things with a broader (I would say when lines are not there) perspective it does not make sense whether we are talking about this thing or that…
But honestly speaking I did not send you sent you mail with that perspective in mind. It was just a pretty happiness (happiness which was based on false….)
Which sprung out of my neuronal reactions which make my existence itself meaningless (hence the things I do).'
'nervous break down'

apreciating so called beauty,
germinated on fertility of deads...
all leads to insanity....
germinated on fertility of deads...

who made them like this.....i don't think they ever wanted to be like this.who wants to be just a fantacy of others world.....we never asked them....they never revolted....they are beautiful?...or we made them beautiful.....'beauty' is most wrongly valued word in the world..........................

i did not want to get up..but i did...i did not want to come here...but i am here.....
who says this is me???? i wonder i am i??? i am not disowning my body..........but
i don't want to continue with this.......i wonder i am i???

i saw you today without words....i liked you...i wanted to touch you......
people will say you are not beautiful.......who are they.....i want to touch you.....

words speaking to words......

i am never happy with language...... distorts my thought;
killer in the books;
and we embrace him;
we love death;
knowingly or unknowingly;
we love the death and we love to kill;
knowingly or unknowingly;

today i thought about you;
you don't exist without me;
you and only you;
wisper in my hands;
you and only you;
one touch;
many years;
you and me;
it was not love;
a wisper;to my body;
you and only you;
no i never existed without you;

sweet air;
with warm touchfrom nothingness;
i love it.

things i love most;
you;
nothingness;
and you. things i hate most;
you; everyone; you;

acadmic identity?? its just like a big family.....and u just want to be part of that family....it gives you social security but security for whom?? you are no more? its family and fictituous fugures not you....u are providing social security to them.. they get strengthened...its really gutsy to leave lucrative acadmic family...alas....i cud not do that....

i never wanted to wrap you in my words........but i never wanted u wrapped in others word....